All My Life's a Circle

So, it is over.  Yesterday was my last day. I no longer have to show up for work.  My days are mine, and Michele's, and Kristin and Spencer's, and Stephen and Tiffany's, and Coen, Bailey, and Cali's.  That feels really good!

So how did I spend the hours after I left my job at 3:45?  I went to the golf course.  I hope to do that often in retirement.  There is a standing tradition that on the last day of school, all teachers who want to be in our end of the year scramble, gather at a course, and spend the next few hours together.  In all of  the 40 some years that I played in this outing, I was on the winning team only once, but that isn't why we play anyway.  It is just a great time to finish out the year and be together without schoolwork on our minds.  This year I had the chance to play alongside old friends - Dale Doerffler and Ry and Laura Taliaffero.  We didn't win, but we did get to catch up on old times.

By the time I got home, around 8:15, I was hungry.  Michele was on her computer while watching out of the corner of her eye America's Got Talent.  With my sandwich in hand, I sat down to eat and watch a little TV.  The operative word there is little.  The next thing that I knew, Michele was asking me to watch for the dogs before we went to bed.  It was 11:00!  Evidently, the day took more out of me than I knew.

What preceded the end of the day for me was a further rehashing of the new College and Career Readiness Standards.  For all of the rest of the United States it is called Common Core.  I led a group of Fine Arts teachers from all five district high schools.  If any of the fine arts group will be reading this, I am very proud of all of you for keeping on task and maintaining lively discussions.  When this was over and all teachers reconvened in the auditorium at Wayne, I and other retirees were recognized for being duped into thinking that what we were doing was important even though we will be elsewhere leading lives away from education.

Then, after lunch, our staff gathered back at the school.  This is where it got a little hard for me.  I do like to be recognized for what I do.  I do want the respect of my peers.  And I am very appreciative of the recognition that I received, but eventually my mother's humbleness came out in me, and I felt uncomfortable.  The people who said such nice things about me were the ones that were by my side working so hard as we tried and ultimately succeeded in turning things around.  They didn't need to praise me.  It did feel good, and I will remember their words forever.  What I will remember the most is the hugs and handshakes and the goodbyes.

Goodbyes.  I realized after the last person went by me that I had repeated this over and over my whole career.  A teacher's life is ended each year with goodbyes.  It doesn't matter if it is elementary, middle, or high school, there comes a day in May or June that young people with whom you have devoted your caring, your perseverance, your motivation, and your time will  say goodbye to you.  Over twenty years ago, it hit me hard when the class of 1992 had done so much for the school and the community that I wrote a poem for them.  Until I left for Jefferson, I read that poem to each graduating class just before they headed to the ceremony.  Until yesterday, I had forgotten that.  I know I have a copy, but I have no idea where.  I imagine that it would be appropriate now.

Now the goodbye is for me and the graduates.of 2014.  I feel proud sharing it with them.  Many of them worked with me in theater, on the Kids Surviving Cancer party, on Pride Day, and so many other things.  On Saturday when they graduate, I will be on the floor with them.  It will be different though.  The goodbyes won't just be the students; it will be the staff too.  Harry Chapin singing his song "Circle" is in my head:

It seems like I've been here before, I can't remember when
But I got this funny feelin' that I'll be back once again
There's no straight lines make up my life and all my roads have bends
There's no clear-cut beginnings and so far no dead-ends.

And that is where it goes now.  With Facebook, I have been able to make those goodbyes only temporary.  Knowing that the lives that  have been in my path are doing okay makes the sting of the end not seem so final.