The Dozens

There were a number of times in those first three years of teaching that I manifested the naive white male that I was.  Most times I could easily shift out of the embarassing nature of the situation by taking on the role of professional teacher.  You know, the one who must be professional and model the way things are supposed to be.  I'm not sure I carried that off very well either, but I told myself that I did.

I really showed how white I was when I first encountered "The Dozens."  Because you don't hear the phrase "The Dozens" very often in the 21st century, I am compelled to define it.  This was a verbal competition primarily found in the African-American community. Many scholars think that this verbal battle goes back to the early days of our country.  A Princeton review of the subject believes that it was started when slave owners would use put downs to devalue the slaves they were attempting to buy.  This study goes on to say that the slaves then would adopt this as a form of entertainment by seeing who could come up with the better put down of the other.

The most common dozen tactic is the "yo mama" statement.  It goes something like this, "You mama so stupid she can't read the first line of an eye chart."  Realize I came from a very Christian environment.  My mother detested any form of cursing (although my father had every curse word down and used them regularly).  To insult anyone in any way was wrong.  Nothing in college changed that perception.

If there is anything that is an example of knowing the cultures that are evident in your school, the dozens is that example.  I was on the playground supervising on my free time, helping a teacher who had to meet with a parent.  I noticed a group of boys who had gathered  away from the others.  They were laughing hard at two of them who were going back and forth with what I thought was arguing.  When I got to them, I heard, "yo mama so fat she wear a tent for a shirt."  That was followed with laughter, including from the boy who was the target of the "insult."  He quickly came back with, "Well you mama so fat that Malolys had to widen their doors."  Everyone laughed again.

I knew all of them, so I felt that I could intercede.  I assumed the stance of the adult, the teacher, the professional.  In my teacher voice I said, "You boys should not be talking about your mothers like that.  You should be ashamed."  When those word were completed, I felt pride in the fact that I had set them straight.  What happened was louder laughter and each and every boy rolling around on the playground.

I hope you will remember Kenny from an earlier blog.  He had an older brother named Tony who was at the center of this group.  He was the first to gather himself and gazed around his friends to make sure that they knew he was the one who would teach the teacher.  He came to me, reached up and put his hand on my shoulder.  With a straight face he looked at me and said, "Man, you so white snow gets lost around you."

One of my many  lessons that served me well.  When I headed to high school, being a connoisseur of the dozens served me well with coaching and teaching.