The Imposter

I know it is nowhere near Christmas, but this story has been in my head pushing to the front of the line since I started writing this blog.  It goes back to the first year at the old James Smart school.  The Whitney Young building behind the Smart school was in its skeletal stage in late November.  Even on blustery cold days, I would walk over and tour the bones of a building.  Often I would run into other staff members and students doing the same thing.

One afternoon after I had toured the building, Mrs. Adams cornered me as I reentered the old building.  She asked me to walk with her to her office.  I know she had an office in that old building, bur for the life of me I can't picture it now.  What I do remember is what she asked me to do.  Remember, I was only 22 at the time.  What she asked me to do seemed bizarre.  She wanted me to play Santa for an assembly that we would have before Christmas break started.

I had never pictured myself as the Santa type.  I was pretty proud of the fact that I was, at that time, in really good shape.  I actually had hair, but it was black.  I didn't have a beard, that came a year later.  But, her reasoning was pretty good - "Mike, you are the only man on the staff."  I thought of coming back at her with the fact that the custodian Mr. Livinsparger was male, but I also knew that he could be pretty gruff at times.

Once I realized that I was the best choice.  I accepted the position with zeal.  The thought of going in front of the whole student body as Santa Claus really grew on me.  I could do this, and really enjoy it!  So, I asked my father to borrow his suit which came with boots, hair, and beard.  Because my father and I had the same build, the outfit worked.

The Smart building was unique for an elementary school.  It had its own auditorium complete with stage and stage lights.  Years later, I have become involved in the theater and work on the stage, but that year I had my first performance.  So, in 1971 I had my first stage appearance as Santa Claus.

I came on after the grade level groups singing and put on their mini-plays.  I was nervous backstage.  I hoped that no one could see that I had almost sweat through the outfit.  I was carrying a huge bag filled with candy that I was to spread out the crowd with sweeping throws. I kept re-gripping the bag to make sure that I had a firm hold of it.   My moment came when Mrs. Adams said, "And now our special guest, Santa Claus."

What happened then could have been predicted if I had been thinking straight.   I entered with my best Ho, Ho, Ho's.  I shook my pillow belly.  I was the definitive Santa Claus!  And the kids responded to me, in unison.  It was loud and distinct.  "Mr. Morris!!!!!"

I was crushed.  I was told that I went ahead with my duties as Santa, but I was in a daze.  The next thing that I remembered I was sitting in the teachers' lounge starting at the wall.  Evidently, everyone had gone home for the holidays.  Mrs. Adams sat next to me.  " You did a great job as Santa, Mike."

I didn't know how to respond because I felt like a failure.  She smiled and went on, "You have to remember that these kids only know one white male, you.  What you didn't see was that they were happy that you were their Santa Claus."  She patted my knee and left.

Recently, my son asked me to grow my beard longer so that I could be a natural Santa for the grandkids.  I have the official belly now (no pillow needed).  The white hair is abundant.  I like the idea, but I fear that I will hear my grandson say "Pa Pa."  Immediately, took me back to that first time.